Better Communication: Why You Should Avoid Making Statements
Ask questions for better results
There is nothing more powerful than a good question. It provokes deeper thought by the receiver. It demonstrates your empathy for what the receiver thinks and feels. If asked in a group setting, it quickly indicates where the herd is heading.
Why Avoid Making a Statement
On the other hand, a statement is a one-sided position from the sender. It is highly likely to be seen as condescending and teaches you little about what others are thinking.
An Example
You and a colleague have just left from a day-long facilitated session. You are not happy with a facilitator or the results. The easy and less effective approach is to blurt out your displeasure.
Instead, ask your colleague, “What surprised you most from the session today?”
First, you show you care about their opinion. Second, you avoid being at odds if you have a different opinion. And third, you may learn something that you missed.
Catch Yourself, and Ask a Question
The next time you are about to say something, turn it around by forming it as a question. You will understand more from the feedback. Others will want you to be around more because it shows you care more about their needs than yours.
JD Solomon resides in the Carolinas, where he fishes, sails, and spends too much time on the beach. Professionally, JD Solomon is the founder of JD Solomon, Inc., the creator of the FINESSE fishbone diagram®, and the co-creator of the SOAP criticality method©.
