Swap “You” for “We” to Build Trust

JD Solomon
2 min readJan 27, 2025

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Swapping out “you” for “we” isa subtle shift that makes a world of difference. (Image source: CWF/Canva, used with permission)

When talking to senior decision makers, it’s easy to fall into the trap of sounding like a lecturer. Throwing out technical terms and phrases like “you need to understand” or “you should do this” can unintentionally create distance. It usually comes across as a little condescending, too. That’s the last emotion you want when you’re aiming to collaborate.

Instead, try swapping out “you” for “we.” It’s a subtle shift that makes a world of difference.

An Example

I worked with an organization late last year to improve their work management system and overall reliability.

In this example, instead of saying:

“You need to upgrade this system to avoid downtime.”

Say:

“We can prevent downtime by upgrading this system together.”

This small change makes you part of the solution. It shows you’re not just pointing out problems. Instead, you’re rolling up your sleeves and tackling them alongside the team.

It’s no longer about what they don’t know; it’s about what we can achieve.

“We” Positions You as a Partner

The magic of “we” is that it positions you as a partner, not a critic. It demonstrates alignment and shared goals that decision makers value. They’re far more likely to trust your recommendations when they feel like you’re in the trenches with them.

It Takes Practice

The simple switch may seem intuitive, but it’s tough for technical experts to do. It takes lots of conscious effort and practice.

Communicate with FINESSE

So, the next time you present to a room full of executives, do a quick mental check. Swap “you” for “we,” and watch how it transforms the conversation. It’s a simple tweak that makes you not just a technical expert, but a trusted collaborator.

Communicating with FINESSE is the not-for-profit community of technical professionals dedicated to being highly effective communicators and facilitators. Visit our Tackle Shop for communication and facilitation resources. Join the community for free.

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JD Solomon
JD Solomon

Written by JD Solomon

Helping people become better communicators and collaborators. Creator of www.communicatingwithfinesse.com. Founder of http://www.jdsolomonsolutions.com.

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